It's been a pretty ordinary month really. Work wise, 'she' has finally been moved last week after having 2 weeks off and everyone on the team commented to the boss how nice it's been without her there (and nothing to do with me!). There has already been a complaint about her new location by the one who now sits opposite but she was told that she just needed to watch what she said if she didn't want to be overheard!! But I've found it slightly strange how nice, but not sickly nice, 'she' has been to me, I think I can cope with that.

I have been given the responsibility of interviewing for another person in our team and one of the other team members is interviewing with me as part of his development plan. We interviewed one last week and really hoping the others are going to be better!

I finally sent off my audition film for my natural horsemanship level 2 last sunday but not heard anything back yet, not even that they've got it but apparently their admin is shocking. I'll give them a few more days then will email them again as my deadline was 18th.

I got a new phone. For the first time in years its not a sony ericsson! But it seems that the android phones are all much of a muchness now, just the hardware that's different. I chose the Samsung Galaxy S... and am typing this entry on it! I think I like it, it's certainly very different so is taking a lil while to get used to as a phone, but the fact I can access t'internet from it, and be able to see it (on the 4" screen) is something completely new and definitely a good thing

I think it would've been quicker to have turned my lappy on to do this but it's been an interesting experiment and I've certainly learned how to do some things that were bugging me but not enough for me to find out before!!

Good lord, over a month since my last proper journal entry!

After the deaths of 2 of my cats (from cancer), 2 of my lizards (probably not from cancer) and 2 of my uncles (from cancer), my aunt has now been diagnosed with incurable cancer She's had cancer before but had it surgically removed and hadn't required chemo at the time. Now she has multiple tumours which can't be surgically removed due to their location. They are hoping that chemo this time will remove the small tumours and significantly reduce the size of the main large one. She is very upbeat about it considering she's only just lost her husband, but she needs to be in order to stay on top of it. My cousins are obviously devastated and haven't really had time to grieve for their father before getting the news of their mother as it was less than a week after his funeral that the results came through.

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I drove up to Stoneleigh with Splash for our course that I'd booked and paid for well over a year previously. The journey was really good and took 3 1/2hrs with Splash travelling great.

I spent the full 2 weeks living in my (old!) horsebox whilst Splash had a luxury stable - but I really enjoyed it! I had an electric hookup and had a fridge, a kettle, and a bedside table lamp!

The course itself was great, I learnt quite a bit. I found the first week the best for me whilst the others seemed to find the 2nd week the best!

The journey back was not so good and took 5hrs Poor Splash travelled like a pro but was literally dripping sweat when we got home.

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The week after, I got a train up to Darlington to pick up my new horsebox. I drove it to mums and spent the night there before driving it back to the yard on the Sunday - a good journey taking 5hrs, much the same as I would have expected in the car.

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Then this weekend I spent Saturday afternoon teaching the latest intake of Healing Animals Organisation students and took 3 of our lizards for them to 'practice' on. Then on Sunday I had the first people out to view my old horsebox - and they bought it :D - for £150 more than I paid for my new one!! Unfortunately I had spent about £100 on advertising and my train fare the week before *tut*

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So that's about it for a catch up.....

I just did the survey thingy that Halfy posted a link to.... I think it's quite accurate, others might not!

You sometimes feel anxious or slightly down in the dumps, although no more so than most people. Most of the time you are quite happy with life.. Criticism sometimes upsets you, although you are willing to accept constructive criticism if you feel it is warranted.

You tend to be somewhat unconventional and imaginative in your approach to life, and seek out new experiences to try. Others are likely to see you as somewhat innovative, regularly coming up with new ideas or ways of doing things. You are happy to try new methods of doing things, and feel quite comfortable taking the occasional risk.

Getting things right is important to you, and you make efforts to avoid careless mistakes wherever possible. You are usually well motivated and determined, and tend to approach your work in quite a structured, disciplined way. You are likely to be committed to your work and will work extra hours if required. You may be seen as something of a perfectionist.

Although you sometimes enjoy social occasions, you occasionally enjoy time on your own or in the company of a small group of close friends. People are unlikely to see you as either shy or ‘larger than life’. You are a realist, and can see both the positive and negative aspects of most things.

You are generally co-operative and treat others with respect and courtesy. Most people would consider you to be a generous, unselfish person, who is willing to fit in with the plans of others. Although you may speak out if someone upsets you or someone close to you, you generally prefer to keep the peace where possible.

3yrs ago today I brought Splash home for the first time.

2yrs ago today I'd just been to see a horsebox to buy (didn't buy that one but bought mine a week or so later).

And yesterday, I bought a new (to me) horsebox!!

I'm wondering what happened a year ago today but I didn't do a journal entry!

The uncle who hadn't just been diagnosed with cancer passed away on Tuesday evening. RIP Uncle Rod. Loving thoughts going to Aunty Barbara to help her cope.

The many visits to see Herbie yesterday went well. The vet gave him a clean bill of health and said that although there was a slight right hind lameness, there was no obvious reason and he was happy for me to continue with the physio.

Herbie had his shoes removed and we're looking forward to some changes in his feet as they were restricted with the shoes and he'd got a long toe with stretched white line and narrow heels. What should happen is that his toe will shorten and his heels and frog widen. There was a difference in his two front feet with the sole of his left fore being nicely concave but the sole of his right fore being more flat, and that coincides with his right shoulder being higher so dependant on what is cause and what is affect should see either or both improving. He was so sweet afterwards as he walked away lifting his feet high up off the ground with each stride until he got used to not having the shoes on!

The physio was pleased with the progress he'd made from the last session, despite the silly antics over the weekend which had made other bits sore. We think we've found the seat of the main problem and looks like it's causing a sciatica type pain so she's coming out again at the weekend to have another go at freeing that up. There were also sore areas around his withers and under where the back of the saddle would be. He really loved what she was doing and yawned and yawned... which is a fantastic sign of tension release. I need to do some healing with him but I'm not in the best place to do it right now.

So not only have we lost both Gizzy and Widge in a month, but also on the day of Gizzy passing, so did Gaz, our male Giant Madagascan Day Gecko. His death was not totally unexpected as I've been trying to nurse him for quite some time.

On top of that, on Friday I got a call from mum to say that one of my uncles, who had been ill for a long time, had been diagnosed with leukemia. They were just discussing his course of medication when he took proper ill, was taken into hospital, and was given 2wks to live. In the same call, mum told me that another sister had also called that evening to say that her husband (another who had been ill for years) had also only been given weeks to live.

I just spoke to mum again. The first uncle has gone home today, to die. She then told me that my cousin had visited her with his partner and kids, on their way to a little holiday in Filey. His partners dad had commited suicide 3wks ago.

So all in all this family isn't really doing too well at the moment and I can only hope things start picking up.

I'm just on my way up the yard for Herbie's vet visit, and straight after that my barefoot trimmer is coming to get his shoes off him and start the barefoot transition whilst he's out of work.

I've had a strange few days, bad news coming in, good news coming in, Herbie straining himself then making a miraculous recovery.

But the text message I received yesterday just as I was walking up our road on my way home from work was not expected.

Gizzy had been put to sleep at home yesterday afternoon. Seems she had developed a 'mass' in her brain that was causing her to cry constantly, not be able to eat or drink and was walking round in circles. This just a month after the loss of Widget. I had told Sylvia that despite their protestations at even liking each other, Gizzy would mourn for Widget as they had lived together for all their lives - 14yrs. I hadn't expected her to not want to live without him.

Still, they are whole and well and together again - just leaving us with the pain and grief of losing loved ones. I had come to terms with Widgets passing quite quickly, we had several months to prepare and I had done a lot of crying in that time. But Gizzy was so healthy, we expected her to go on for several years yet. And I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to her.

Have been up the yard a couple of times this week. Tuesday I brought Herbie in and played with him in the school.

What I'm seeing is an intrinsically left-brain calm and inteligent horse who could be dominant, bolshy and cheeky. However, at the moment he is extremely insecure and is crying out for the love, language and leadership that hopefully I will be able to provide. He is also flicking right-brain at times, and in those moments the outside world ceases to exist and he could easily run you over without even seeing you. And it is those times where I could see his previous owner might have had problems, but without the tools to deal with it, it can become extremely frightening.

He's also quite weak in his loins and in his right-brain moments, he struggles to work his feet in the right order, getting unbalanced and practically falling round his corners! When he's concentrating, he trots beautifully!

But he worked well and again there was no bullying and no pain, just questions and relief.

And I was pleasantly surprised when he came to call tonight, having left him to digest what we'd done since Tuesday. He was a very long way away but walked purposefully over to me then we had a little play (with his new rope halter that arrived today), I measured him up for his bitless bridle then bade him farewell whilst calling Splash again. Splash had started to come over when I called but decided not to when he saw Herbie on his way and had a roll instead! After Herbie had got a few feet away from me, Splash started across the field to me but was a bit 'sticky' and slow. When he got to me, I gave him lots of scratches, put the halter on him and played with him a little bit too, with Herbie watching on, hopefully learning

Then I had Bugsy come over, who also wanted lots of scratches, so obliged before saying goodbye to them all and coming away.

His ex owners have said they might go and visit him over the weekend. Now whilst I'm not opposed to that, I would rather they visited whilst I was there. I have asked Vinnie if he'd mind if I gave them his number to arrange to go when he's there so hopefully they wont just turn up. Apart from anything else, they've never been there before and it's not a 'yard' as such with people milling about all the time so the presence of strangers can be seen as suspicious.

Oh, and I've just ordered Herbie's bitless bridle. He's cost me a fortune already what with his bridle, his halter and rope and his months livery charge.... and his feet need doing too... although I think I'm going to ask Alicia about taking him barefoot. He'd never worn shoes up until they got him 4 yrs ago so I'm sure he'll be good, but the shoes will have already caused damage so may take some time to get them back to a good state.

Anyway, that's enough rambling....

Have had an exceptionally busy weekend, and all horsey.

Herbie WAS a bit tricky to load and it took about 45mins in all - and funnily enough he loaded about 5mins AFTER his old owner left the yard! I'd had him inside the lorry twice but don't like to 'suddenly' trap them in and want them to know they CAN get out again if they really want to. There was no force, no pain, just requests. He didn't want to do it, and he's obviously 'got away with it' for far too long. But I made it easier for him to put himself in the lorry than to not

Got him home and he settled in with his new herd like he'd lived there for years. I told his old owner that although I'd said I'd let him settle in for 2wks before I'd do anything with him, as he'd settled so well, I'd get him in on Sunday and see what he was like under saddle... she simply said 'good luck'

Dressage test this morning. Had a bit of an argument with Splash first thing as he wouldn't stand still and bashed me into the wall I've just found 2 large bruises!) - I would have taken him in the school to run off his energy but someone was using it so I couldn't. Got him loaded (as usual, with no problems ) and headed off to the show. Got there, tacked him up, took him in the warm up where I had about 30mins to get him supple and working nicely. He was doing good but didn't like coming out of there to go into the arena and started shouting and getting tense so I thought we'd have no chance doing the test.

But seems like he was still obedient with the movements and apart from not really doing the 'free walk on a long reing' (head in the air, shouting out!) he still got good marks for his 'correct footfalls' and 'working through the back and neck'... and we came 3rd out of 10

Back at the yard and after trying to help Vinnie load his mare to go to a one day event, he offered to be the first on Herbie's back as I've never seen him ridden and he was an unknown.

Herbie was great. The tack he came with was quite harsh with a strong bit, flash noseband (to strap his mouth shut) and martingale (to keep his head down). So I took it all off and had him on the least harsh hole of the bit. I didn't think he'd really need it

Had a couple of spooks at the bottom corners with piles of 'stuff' and the wind rustling the bushes there but generally I don't think he's gonna be a problem. He's strong and he's forward and 'sharp' but just needs a confident rider to help him through any insecurities he's got. He's also hollow and doesn't track up in walk, but that's hardly surprising with the weight he's been carrying  After Vinnie rode, I rode.. and I felt safe enough to not even bother putting my body protector or hat or even proper riding boots on! Then after I rode, Camilla rode... Camilla has an old pony on the yard and was wanting something 'different'. I'd suggested she could exercise Splash but when she saw Herbie arrive she jumped at the chance of a possible part share/loan to help me with the costs.

Whilst Camilla was riding she agreed that he didn't need the harsh bit so I took his bitted bridle off and put Splash's bitless bridle on.... and what a difference. He stopped shaking his head when she tried to take a contact and dropped his head and neck, working along his back and tracking up better 

Think he's gonna be a great ride for a confident rider and he just needs to be understood as an individual instead of trying to fit him into what they expect him to be.

Well Herbies current owner as called and said that her new horse is arriving tomorrow afternoon so I shall be off up the yard first thing to get the lorry and go and fetch him.

Apparently he's 'not a good loader' so may take some time to get him in but it seems that the girl isn't too bothered about being there when I take him OR to come and see him in his new home.

I simply can't get my head around that at all.

Oh, and my dressage test is at 10.48am on Sunday with Splash....